20 Things About Me
I have succumbed to the “20 facts about me” Instagram trend. Here goes:
- I love to travel, as hackneyed as that sounds. I won’t travel-bore you with any deets today. Suffice to say, I tend to err on the side of indulging in a ‘trip of a lifetime’ every few months or so. I would spend my last cent and minute on it: #Yolo.
- I can’t think of a food I don’t eat. Neither can many of my friends, several of whom have deep-fried their brains in the thinking process. I often dream about how skinny I’d be if my mother did not intervene during my fussy eating phase as a young child; there are only so many bowls of Cocopops you can eat in a day.
- In a similar vein, I can’t think of any genre of music I don’t enjoy. I’ve traversed the globe in pursuit of many Pied Pipers of Hamelin, be they of the operatic or electronic variety. I love festivals. I love random medleys of unlooked-for songs on unrecognisable radio stations. I’d listen to anything on the radio, be it jazz, indie music or a talk show. I still love the R&B I listened to as a teenager (#DestinysChildForever) as well as any cheesy 60s/70s/80s/90s/00s stuff: #Bringit. I’m known for knowing all manner of lyrics.
- I rarely watch television or Netflix or what have you. Despite being tv-addicted as a teenager – I could probably recite entire episodes of Friends verbatim- I lost the habit while in college and now I don’t know how to even use a television apart from pressing on and off on a remote control.
- I hate anything techie. (This is probably why I’m such a devout fan of the radio and avoid the television!) My ears close over when someone tries to enlighten me about such things. I’ve been using a broken iPhone since Christmas as I can’t face attempting to set up my upgrade. A pristine new iPhone lies dormant in my wardrobe. The Christmas greeting emblazoned on the same bag taunts me every day. TBF, my procrastinator extraordinaire status and general laziness may also be at play here.
- Believe it or not, I’m not into social media! I joined Instagram in December and started my fledgling Instagram-inspired blog Skip the Script on a whim on Blue Monday (mid-January). I also joined twitter but then couldn’t muster the motivation to get into it.
- I can’t localise sound. If I’ve lost my phone in a large room and someone rings it, I can’t discern if it’s to my right or to my left. Same applies to someone calling me from a distance.
- I have zero sense of direction. This is probably related to point number 7, anatomically speaking. I walk around Dublin city centre with google maps. I never drive anywhere without my Tom-Tom in case the there is no reception for google maps. Feigning interest when people attempt to give me unsolicited advice on ‘the best route’ or some shortcut is EXHAUSTING.
- I hate driving. This is partially related to point number 8, but there are many factors here. I cannot manoeuvre. I have never even attempted to parallel park. I lose my car in car parks regularly. Penalty points and clamps punctuate my life. If I ever come into megabucks, my first acquisition will be a personal chauffeur. He or she will then remain at my beck and call, 24/7, for the rest of my days.
- My first car was a cream convertible Beetle. She met her demise outside my sister’s house last summer- see the snap before she drew her final breath below. Sob. We’d been through some monumental life events together, good and bad. I get a pain in my heart every time I see a cream soft-top Beetle. Although if you saw the sorry bashed-in-every-which-way state of the Beetle while she was alive, you’d be forgiven for thinking I hated her: #ToughLove.
- My first pets were goldfish I won. I called them Bamm-Bamm and Pebbles after the Flintstones children.
- I was called after my grandfather Michael, who passed away while my mother was pregnant. I was the second baby, after my older sister, so I’m inclined to interpret this as them expecting a boy, then making the switcheroo from Michael to Michelle on the day. My Dad would have said ‘There’ll be plenty of son in the Summer’. He went on to have two further daughters before calling it a day.
- Speaking of names, there was a time, God help me, when I was hell-bent on changing my name by deed poll to Vada after Anna Chlumskey’s character in My Girl.
- Speaking of My Girl, I loved Macauley Culkin for a time. Jaysus, I know.
- My crush du jour is Jamie Dornan. Reliable sources inform me I could eradicate this crush stat by watching a particular tv series in which he walks like a duck. This hasn’t happened yet; see point 4 above. Also, I’m not that superficial, I could tolerate the gait. Anyone know if he happens to have a long-lost identical twin?
- Some of my joints are hyperflexible- I can do Z thumbs!
- My ankles are also hyperflexible and something as small as a bird flying overhead can make me turn to look, then twist my ankle. Strangers often stop and ask if I need medical assistance at times, but they always snap right back into place. Hopefully these are not #FamousLastWords.
- I have a Z-shaped scar on my upper right foot from when I fainted in the kitchen over a decade ago and dropped a china cup of tea in the process which then cut through tendons. Nobody ever believes a cup of tea was the culprit! I couldn’t be arsed with the crutches and physio after the surgery, my bad, but I seem to be walking normally enough these days. Better than Jamie Dornan anyway, by all accounts. The many stumbles are due to point 17.
- I am a respectable 5 foot 4 and just shy of half an inch on top of that. Unfortunately I do not emit the ‘height illusion’. It irks me when people guess I’m 5 foot 2. Do not do that if you ever feel the need to ingratiate yourself with me. Ever.
- My favourite toys as a child were Tiny Tears (a doll) and Poochie (a pink and white fluffy dog) which I still have at home. Poor Tiny has a rather unforgiving bald patch at her crown which had nothing to do with me and the kitchen scissors: #AlopeciaCanBeSoCruel. I was never into Barbie and vividly recall volunteering to vacuum the Christmas tree bristles one year after Santa had generously gifted a Barbie with a fully-furnished country house so I could hoover up all of her many, pesky forks and knives, hand-held mirrors, brushes, shoes and other paraphernalia. Saved having to tidy them up and carry the whole kitty and kaboodle upstairs to my room. I don’t think anyone noticed at the time, hee hee.
So there you are! Back to health and wellness from next week on! Have a good one,